The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith Book Summary
Discover a comprehensive summary and insightful review of "The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith. Explore key themes, character analysis, and powerful takeaways from this poignant coming-of-age novel that tackles trauma, healing, and resilience. Perfect for readers and book clubs alike!
Michel Fisher
July 11, 2025
Genres: Abuse, Audiobook, Contemporary, Fiction, High School, Mental Health, Realistic Fiction, Romance, Young Adult, Young Adult Contemporary
The Way I Used to Be Book Summary
Amber Smith's debut novel "The Way I Used to Be" delivers a raw and unflinching portrayal of trauma's lasting impact on a teenage girl's life. Following Eden's journey through four years of high school after a devastating assault, the book explores themes of silence, healing, and the complex process of reclaiming one's identity. Smith's honest narrative doesn't shy away from difficult topics, instead offering readers an authentic look at how trauma can reshape relationships, self-perception, and future choices. This powerful coming-of-age story resonates deeply with readers seeking understanding of survival and recovery.
Discover deeper insights by exploring the Career of Evil Book Summary, Review & Key Insights to enhance your understanding and connect key themes effortlessly within your reading journey.
The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith - Introduction
I had no idea how deeply a young adult book could explore the aftermath of trauma without feeling heavy-handed or preachy until I read The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith. What really surprised me was how the story showed that healing isn’t linear — it’s messy, confusing, and sometimes you don’t even realize you’re healing until much later. I picked it up initially because I was looking for something in the Young Adult Contemporary genre that felt real, not just the usual high school drama or romance.
This book dives into some tough topics like abuse, mental health, and the struggle of finding yourself after everything changes, all wrapped up in a story about a high school girl trying to navigate life and love again. If you’re someone who appreciates realistic fiction that doesn’t shy away from the hard stuff but still manages to be hopeful, you’ll really connect with this one. Plus, the audiobook version is fantastic if you’re into listening on the go.
It’s about 385 pages, so it’s a solid read but not overwhelming — I finished it in a few days because I just had to know what happened next. Honestly, if you want a book that makes you think about resilience and the quiet ways people cope with pain, this is one I’d recommend grabbing next. It’s not just a story; it’s a reminder that recovery looks different for everyone, and that stuck feeling doesn’t have to last forever.
What is The Way I Used to Be About?

"The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith follows the journey of Eden, a high school girl whose life is shattered after a traumatic event, leading her to navigate the complexities of grief, identity, and healing. The book's main message emphasizes the importance of reclaiming one's voice and the power of resilience in the face of trauma. Key concepts include the impact of sexual assault on self-perception, the struggle for emotional recovery, and the significance of support systems in overcoming adversity.
About Book Author - Amber Smith
It's a real pleasure to introduce our next speaker, Amber Smith. What's interesting about Amber is that her path to becoming a writer, particularly for her powerful novel The Way I Used to Be, wasn't a straight line. It grew from a deep-seated need to explore difficult truths, drawing from a well of personal understanding that gives her work such authenticity.
Amber Smith didn't start out as just a storyteller; she has a background in art and has spent significant time working with at-risk teens. This experience, I believe, profoundly shaped her ability to connect with and portray the raw, often unspoken, emotional lives of young people. You see this same empathy and unflinching honesty in her other books, like The Last Lies of Autumn and Something Like Gravity.
Her unique qualification to write on these sensitive topics comes from this blend of lived experience and a genuine commitment to giving voice to the voiceless. She doesn't just write about characters; she seems to inhabit them, making their journeys profoundly resonant. Please welcome Amber Smith.
More Books To Find
The Way I Used to Be - Book Overview
It's about a teenage girl named Eden who goes through a traumatic experience and how it affects her life and relationships. Essentially, it’s a coming-of-age story that dives deep into the complexities of trauma, identity, and healing.
Amber Smith wrote it to shed light on the often-silenced voices of survivors. She aims to create a space for understanding and empathy, showing that healing isn't linear and that everyone has their own journey.
What sets this book apart is its raw honesty and emotional depth. Unlike many other stories that gloss over trauma, Smith really digs into the messy aftermath and the ways it shapes Eden's choices and relationships, making it feel incredibly relatable and real.
One story that stuck with me is when Eden grapples with her self-worth after the incident. She starts to push away her friends and family, feeling like she doesn't deserve their support. It reminded me of how we sometimes isolate ourselves during tough times, thinking we’re a burden, which can be a really common struggle. This portrayal felt so genuine and resonated with my own experiences and those of people I know. It’s a powerful reminder of the importance of connection and understanding in the healing process.
Key Insights of The Way I Used to Be
The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith offers profound insights into trauma, identity, and healing.
1. Trauma's Impact: The protagonist, Eden, experiences a life-altering event that shapes her worldview and relationships. The book illustrates how trauma can distort one's sense of self and lead to emotional turmoil.
2. Struggle with Identity: Eden's journey reflects the struggle many face in reconciling their past self with their current identity. Her internal conflict highlights the difficulties of moving forward while carrying the weight of unresolved pain.
3. Importance of Support Systems: The narrative emphasizes the critical role of friendships and family in the healing process. Eden's relationships evolve as she navigates her trauma, showcasing how support can be both a lifeline and a source of additional conflict.
4. The Process of Healing: Healing is portrayed as a non-linear journey filled with setbacks and breakthroughs. Eden's experiences underscore that recovery takes time and is often accompanied by self-discovery and growth.
5. Empowerment through Voice: The book stresses the importance of finding one's voice and reclaiming power after trauma. Eden's eventual courage to confront her past serves as a powerful reminder that sharing one's story can be a pivotal step toward healing.
These insights collectively create a poignant narrative that resonates with readers, encouraging empathy and understanding towards those grappling with similar experiences.
Who Should Read This Book
"The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith is a compelling read for young adults and anyone interested in themes of trauma, resilience, and personal growth. It resonates particularly with survivors of sexual assault, as it offers a raw and honest portrayal of the emotional aftermath of such experiences. Readers who appreciate coming-of-age stories that tackle difficult subjects with sensitivity will find this book impactful. Additionally, those looking to understand the complexities of healing and the journey to reclaiming one’s identity will benefit from Smith's powerful narrative and relatable characters.
Read If You Are
- seeking a powerful narrative on personal trauma and healing
- interested in stories of resilience and self-discovery
- looking for relatable young adult fiction that addresses difficult topics
Skip If You Are
- looking for a lighthearted or purely entertaining read
- uncomfortable with themes of trauma and personal struggles
- seeking a fast-paced plot with constant action and adventure
Important Takeaways from this Book
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Journal Your Thoughts Daily: Start a daily journaling practice where you write about your feelings and experiences. This action helps you process emotions and gain clarity about your thoughts. Set aside 10 minutes each morning or evening to reflect. No special materials are needed—just a notebook and pen will do.
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Reach Out to a Trusted Friend: Identify one person in your life you trust and share your feelings with them. This step fosters connection and support, reducing feelings of isolation. Choose someone who is empathetic and understanding, and schedule a time to talk, either in person or via a call.
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Set Boundaries with Toxic Influences: Identify any relationships or environments that drain your energy or make you uncomfortable. Take action by setting clear boundaries, such as limiting contact or removing yourself from harmful situations. This is crucial for protecting your mental health and fostering a positive environment.
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Practice Self-Compassion: Begin each day by affirming one positive thing about yourself. This practice cultivates self-love and reduces negative self-talk. Stand in front of a mirror and speak kindly to yourself, reminding yourself of your strengths and worth.
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Engage in a Creative Activity: Dedicate time each week to a creative outlet that you enjoy, such as painting, writing, or dancing. This action helps you express emotions and boosts your mood. Choose a time that fits your schedule, and allow yourself to enjoy the process without judgment.
Book Review
I picked up "The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith expecting a straightforward coming-of-age story, but what I got was a raw, emotional journey that delves deep into trauma and healing. The narrative is powerful and haunting, giving voice to the struggles of a young girl navigating life after a traumatic event.
One of the book's greatest strengths is Smith's writing style. Her prose is lyrical yet accessible, making it easy to get lost in Eden's world. For instance, the vivid imagery she uses to describe Eden's internal turmoil really resonated with me. The pacing felt just right—slow enough to build tension but quick enough to keep me turning pages late into the night.
However, there were moments where the story felt a bit repetitive, particularly in Eden's reflections on her trauma. While I appreciate the emphasis on her emotional state, some sections could have benefited from more varied experiences or interactions to break up the introspection.
In comparison to other books like "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson, I found Smith’s approach more layered, but perhaps less direct in its message. Both tackle heavy themes, but Smith's narrative felt more like a gradual unveiling of trauma rather than a confrontation.
Overall, I think "The Way I Used to Be" is a must-read for anyone interested in stories about resilience and self-discovery. However, if you’re looking for something lighthearted or quick-paced, this might not be the book for you. It's an emotional ride, but one that's ultimately rewarding.
Final Thoughts
If I'm being honest, finishing The Way I Used to Be left me with a mix of emotions. My overall takeaway is that it powerfully captures the complexity of trauma and the journey of healing. I'd definitely recommend this if you're someone who appreciates raw, emotional narratives that delve into personal struggles and resilience. However, skip this one if you're looking for something light-hearted or easy to digest; it can be quite heavy.
The thing that surprised me most was how authentically Amber Smith portrays the protagonist's inner turmoil and growth. It's a real eye-opener about the impact of trauma and the importance of finding one's voice again. Months from now, I think the theme of self-discovery will stick with me, reminding me of the strength it takes to confront one’s past.
As for whether I’d read it again, I think I’d prefer to recommend the full book rather than just a summary. There’s so much depth that a summary just can’t capture. Personally, my reading experience was both challenging and rewarding; it made me reflect on my own experiences and those of others. I’m glad I picked it up!
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to read The Way I Used to Be?
The average reading speed is about 300 words per minute. With 385 pages in "The Way I Used to Be," it typically takes around 8-12 hours to read, depending on your pace and engagement with the material.
What makes "The Way I Used to Be" different from other books in this genre?
The Way I Used to Be stands out due to its raw, authentic portrayal of trauma and healing. Amber Smith masterfully weaves a deeply personal narrative that resonates emotionally, offering readers a profound exploration of identity, resilience, and the complexities of recovery, making it both relatable and impactful.
Who is the target audience for The Way I Used to Be
The target audience for "The Way I Used to Be" includes young adults and teens, particularly those who have experienced trauma or are navigating issues of identity, self-discovery, and resilience. The book resonates with readers seeking emotional connection and understanding of complex life experiences.
Are there any criticisms or limitations of The Way I Used to Be
Some criticisms of "The Way I Used to Be" include its heavy themes, which may be triggering for some readers. Additionally, some reviewers feel the pacing is uneven and that certain character developments could have been explored more deeply. However, many appreciate its honest portrayal of trauma and healing.
What is the main theme of The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith
The main theme of "The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith revolves around trauma, healing, and self-discovery. It explores the impact of sexual assault on identity and relationships, highlighting the journey of reclaiming one's voice and finding strength amidst adversity.
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Michel Fisher
Michel Fisher is a passionate fiction enthusiast and book blogger who writes about emotional reads, character-driven stories, and contemporary romance authors that captivate hearts and minds.

The Way I Used to Be
Book Overview
Description
In the tradition of Speak, this extraordinary debut novel shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault.Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, and while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.
Key Points
Trauma shapes identity and behavior
Characters
Publisher
Margaret K. McElderry Books
First Publish Date
Awards
Goodreads Choice Award Nominee for Young Adult Fiction (2016)